"Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away"
Guess what? This is the new epitome of iridescence
and u've just surfed into sam's sketchsite!
Join panda's cousin teddy as u start painting her site
with a myriad of colours you see below!
So watcha waiting for? Start painting and enjoy! :)
Entries
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
I think that we often tend to neglect the fact that you yourself, yes, YOU, fall under the term everyone as well, strictly speaking. At times, you find that if you please someone else, chances are that you may end up displeasing yourself. Often, I mistreat myself by catering to others' demands (at times, overbearing ones). The thing I hate about that? As much as I hate doing certain things, I ALWAYS GIVE IN. FREAK! I HATE THAT. I hate myself for being weak and useless. I don't understand why I am the most cruel to of all people, yours truly. Why can't I be a narcissist at times? That truly sux.
I was just reading The New Paper when that caught my eye and it kinda amuses me how a simple phrase like that could actually hold my attention for more than 20 seconds at the very least. I guess it's not exactly the first time I've seen that phrase but in such moments of anguish, you realise that yeah... you can totally and i mean TOTALLY relate to that.Think about it. Just how true is that? Sometimes, you think you're probably the nicest person on earth to be doing something (which many shun away from or disregard altogether) like that for that certain person but often, it goes unappreciated. You get criticised even.
No matter how hard you try to be nice, you're taken for granted. It's really extremely difficult to please just one person, let alone pleasing everyone. It's so tiring to play the nice guy all the time and to be at K's back and call all the time. I want to be the baddie at times too. I want the roles to be switched at times as well. I honestly think that we live in an unfair world. Some people are just born to be slaves. I think I belong to that cohort. It's funny and ironic that I too believe, at the same time, that we are masters of our own fate (if there's even such a thing called fate). Yet I do not have that much of a will to break out of this vicious cycle of giving in all the time. I realise that each time I succumb to K's wishes and abide somewhat blindly to K's orders, I grow weaker. You realise that your kindness is taken as a given and it being human nature, you're expected to do this and even more in future. Breaking out of this mold and unleashing all forms of demon within me is something I succor seek, I'm so sick and tired of playing the nice guy. Seriously. I think it's high time for me to please myself more. I have to learn to voice out my displeasure instead of swallowing all that shit from K all the time. I hate myself for masking my emotions and tolerating all that crap. Enough is enough. I'm so fed up with myself.
I wanna break free.
I Draw @
3:50 AM
About Me
Name: Samantha Ong Shuh Tien
Birthday: 16th Nov 1985
Horoscope: Scorpio
Location: Singapore
"Beware. Karma can be a bitch."